I sat there for about 10 minutes thinking about what I could possibly write that would be even remotely interesting and came up with nothing. So I gave it another hour and still came up with nothing. Now here I am at 2 in the morning giving up on my attempt to be a functioning member of society tomorrow in order to write a blog post on absolutely nothing. Yeah, that's right you just wasted all that time reading this and there is no point to it. Sorry. But not really because I am not done yet. You could be done, I guess. If you don't love me enough to listen to me ramble on. Yes, I pulled the, "If you loved me you would do this" card. Moving on to the next pointless topic.My family is on a diet. We have finally become so disgusted with our obese-ness that we are making our feeble attempts to regain control. It is going alright, some days I do really well and others... well lets just say I wouldn't be opposed to shanking someone with toothbrush for a piece of cake. It always seems the worst at night. Its as if I am two separate people. Daytime Katie usually has control from noon-8pm. Nighttime Katie has control from 8pm-4am. Daytime Katie is so good. I will eat all the right food and tell myself this is so good for you. You are an excellent person. You are so good at taking care of your self, so responsible, and did I mention pretty? I go on like this all day in my head until that lowlife nighttime Katie takes her shift.
It is almost as if someone flips a switch. One minute I will be off in my own la la land about how great I am, an dhow great this diet is and then *BAM* I am huddled in the fetal position in the corner of my room basically foaming at the mouth for my need of baked goods. But as we are on a diet we do not have any baked goods nor the means to make any, so I just sit there foaming at mouth looking wild-eyed. As I sit there I go through a mental list of everything we have in our snack cupboard: giant pixie sticks, trail mix, gum, airheads, 2 year-old fruit gems, my dad's bag of Werthers hard candies. I keep going through the list in my head hoping that I just forgot that I baked a chocolate cake and put it in the snack cupboard.
At around 2am I cave and eat a couple handfuls of my dad's candy huddled in my corner of seclusion. When I awake the next day I don't remember much of what happened the night before having passed out from the sugar overload. I only have the partially sucked on piece of candy in my hair and a blanket of wrappers to remind me. Nighttime Katie, ever the irresponsible drama queen that she is left another mess for daytime Katie to take care of.
Okay so maybe I dramatized that a little bit but it is currently 2:30 in the morning and the drama queen nighttime Katie is well into her shift, so it is to be expected.Okay this blog post is extremely long. So lets keep going, shall we?
Kristi and I are currently writing a book together. It will be comprised of slightly dramatized stories of our childhood. Not too dramatized though because lets face it, we were crazy. So far Kristi has written nothing and has not even read what I have written. So much for being a famous author! Its not as if she is in her final semester of college dealing with finals and moving back home... oh wait, she is. Never mind then... she will get around to writing in about a week after she graduates! But back to me, I have written a couple chapters. I just need Bozo(Kristi) to hurry up and read them so she can add stuff to them. When we get one of them the way we like it I will post it on here as a sneak preview for all of the 2 people that read my blog... and probably all 0 of you that made it this far into the current post. I don't blame you for not making it this far. It would take a real survivor to have gotten through all that nonsense. Anyways that is all I can think of to write at the moment. I am sure that daytime Katie will look back at this in the tomorrow and curse nighttime Katie for making her look like an idiot... again. Oh well, I am over it. That's her problem.
About freaking time!!!
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